Kissings [GST​-​08]

by Ivy Hollivana

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❀ kissings ❀
songs dedicated to your self worth & love for others

4th full length album by Ivy Hollivana.

my ultimate and most powerful thanks to:
jesper ♡ for showing me eternal sunlight
chel, ellia, and housey ☆ for being my best friends
sam ☀ for being a wonderful sister
remy & jo ✌ for inspiring me daily
galaxy swim team ♫ for being the most magical collective and giving me a home

my neverending love also to: andrew, morgan, izzy, isiah, jul, viv, eli, michy, brenna, drain, zach, einar, my 50 online mothers, and everyone who has shown me kindness. Blessed are the 4 hour skype calls we make, blessed are the selfies that my friends take.

rest well.


released April 21, 2016

All tracks and cover art - Ivy Hollivana (
Additional vocals provided by McMaNGOS on “apple tree” (
Mastering - Noah Hafford (



Track Name: Linger
You still linger like dust under my fingers
I close my eyes and see what we used to mean
I can shake you off
Easier than before
Distraction is my forte

Let's not get ahead of ourselves
I can tell when we need to rest
If my arms get heavy
I know where I will feel the best

In their arms I heard things you've never thought of
Things you've never bothered with
And i told myself I needed help
And i deserved so much better
Because I did

You changed and so did I
Inside I never thought that i could feel like this, oh no
When I realized everything was over I couldn't find a way to comfort you
It’s sad but true

Are you sure that you didn't lose your love for me
While I relished in my self pity
Oh is it true
I'll never know the truth

That summer it changed everything but nothing at all
I guess this was our fate
Our fate was to fall

And I couldn't imagine it any other way
Your face just didn't feel the same to me
And I held on too long
And then I fell in love again and I refused to spent my heart on you
Track Name: Am I Sad
Help me endure
Help me be pure and unsuspecting
Let me live my life in ignorance

It’s my best chance
Of hoping and waiting now
For the storm to dry it out

I wonder when we will be able to fly again

Hold me down, don’t know
Remember I’m the only one to show
I’ll be the one to drop the gun and say

You prayed for nothing

Do we really have to talk about this again
I know I'll lose everything my friend
It’s not new to me
This tragedy is plaguing me

But it’s swell
It’s swell I swear
Nothing seems to be contaminating the air

Overall we’re doing fine
I just need an excuse to step out of line
Track Name: Deserve
Sooner or later
Things are going to change
And I'll do my best to hold on
To the happiness I've arranged
For myself at this time
I can see my tears forming in the future
For the memories I've tried to erase

They come back like nightmares and I've expected that they will be there
For as long as I can see into the future

But you know what
I’ll take everything I can get
The good and the bad
Cos that's what makes me full inside
And on that New Year's Day when I decided you didn't deserve any more part of my life
I never looked back
And as the night
Crept on me
I realized your company wasn't needed anymore

I closed a door and opened another one
One to a road
A road with new feelings

I thought you taught me
What it is I really needed

But as I looked back
I realized I was off track

Never let me go darling
That's what I genuinely felt
But now I realize I gotta do better for myself

I looked up and saw the trees waving to me
I knew that we once in love
But now it's gone
Everything is different now
And I love myself more than I did before

Please, you and me

I left so abruptly and with a small goodbye
Cos I knew that if i looked back I would be
Back in your life
And I didn't need it
I am better now
Without you

But you know what
I’ll take everything I can get
The good and the bad
Cos that's what makes me full inside
Track Name: Sugar
I see my world flying by
And I wonder where I will land
I can finally say
At the end of the day I will gladly do all of this again
Hold me close a little more
Hold onto me just a little tighter

You know I wasn't quite a fighter

Until I saw myself lose my own heart
And i suffered from the very start

Now life isn't quite a downer
I want to exist with you

Oh my love what are you made of
Sugar and stars I bet
With your hands through my hair
I know it won't compare to the daydreams of you daily

We found each other when we needed each other the most
But we didn't even have time for a toast
And I couldn't see past my doubts
I couldn't imagine it

I couldn't imagine myself finally giving sometime to my health and I
Sat inside myself, looking at my life

Tell me what it is
That makes me scarlet
When I think of spending every day with you

And I know that our future is uncertain
And I know it's just blossoming for us
But I feel this waver deep inside my core

I'm glad I left all of my doors open for you
Cos when we met I felt no regrets anymore

You're so wonderful to me
You radiate beauty
And I can't wrap my head around it

I grew to love you and it feels so right
Late at night I’m not alone anymore
You actually try
And you continue to try and try for me
Do you know how happy that makes me

To know that somebody knows
What it is I want from this world

Tell me what it is
That makes me scarlet
When i think of spending every day with you

You are what I’m looking for
Track Name: Apple Tree
I just hope you will find all of your love inside
And I can count the days

In the apple tree she showed me
Where I needed to be
With her arms around me

Oh darling rest your head in my hands
Everything is ok now
This was all planned
A glorious newness, a refreshing forfeit
To the blooming feelings I had
Your words held me close
All the way from across the coasts

And I know I need you most
You made my life anew
And helped me get through everything

Oh do you know
How much I care
How much I wanna run my fingers through your hair
And now I can’t see my life without you

At night if you have any frights
I'll be here by your side
To chase them all away

As the clouds separate I see you walk out of heaven's gate
And fall right into my arms
May our lives be forever intertwined
And let us find the strength to take our time
I know that our love is true
And I will always wait for you
Track Name: Turning Tide
No more tears for the wilted bloom
No more tears for you

Even though in this moment in I am thinking of you
I’ve accepted the end
That we will never be friends

Your memories wash across my being
And I know that I’m happier now
Life is better now

You never know how your life will pan out
Everything can get better from now

Recently my heart has warmed immensely
The turning tide has a stride around me
I feel it daily
The changes made
To my life

I will see the world
She will tell me what I need to do
And I will give myself up to the ocean
And I will see
What it’s like
To really be here

And as I looked back to those old emails
I teared up and finally began to forgive myself

Moving on I just want my life
To be dedicated as a healing agent
I don't wanna be forgotten
But eventually it will be too hard to remember me

And that's ok
I know by now that the world is cycling on and on
And if I don't make it to the last stage
I will remember all of the good days
Track Name: Glass
A glass galaxy of wishes
Lay your hand upon your lover’s wrist
And tell them that they are made of your favourite things

Hold them close in the night
You never know when fear
May strike

So be there for them

When your look around do you see their face
Do you wonder how to make your love stay

Look at the world they’ve given you to explore
To do your best and to come back home

Darling I’ll bite
Tell me a story from a story explain it to me

I don't care if I've heard it a thousand times
I just wanna know what you are like

Sometimes I feel your fear
Creep ahead of you
And I am here to tell you
That I'll be there

I'll be there when the storm starts rolling into the glass heart you have prepared
Sometimes I don't know if the best for me is right there
And I don't know a lot
But i know I will fight to move forward

I sometimes slip up
And I feel like I am reversing
But I remember an important thing

If I survived 2014 I can do anything
Nothing can stop me now
And i look ahead and I see my strength building all over again

Meet me in the garden and dance with me
We look at our lives
And see what we strive to be
Darling I hope you know I plan to live endlessly

In the hearts and minds of people alike
And passing down of memories
I just hope I made you smile enough
To last you an eternity

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